So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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