Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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