So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
