Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
