I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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