Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
