You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
