puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
