How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
