therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
