K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
