Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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