2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You're like the curious george of whores
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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