IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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