Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's shark week go big or go home
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
we're so committed to being not committed
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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