i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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