She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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