Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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