he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
