normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
