fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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