You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
