I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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