Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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