Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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