Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just google imaged poop.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
