Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize