You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
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He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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