Non-Jews are for practice
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
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We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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