we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
