We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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