I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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