I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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