I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
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Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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