i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Can you bring me the toilet please
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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