I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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