yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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