It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize