Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
