Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
