I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
