What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
