at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
