You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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