Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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