Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
