Non-Jews are for practice
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
50% drunk capacity currently
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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