dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
