Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
