Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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