It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
