Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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