the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
