Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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