To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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