Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
