True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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