I can tuck mytits in my pants
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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